This is not sugar syrup

Full story below the photo, but if you want the short version, here it is:

Foreground: my cute kid, reading a beat-up book in a favourite local café.  Very sweet way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

You know what’s not sweet?

That stuff that is not sugar syrup.

I thought it was.  I mean, it’s lined up in the frickin’ Aisle O’ Sweetness, sandwiched in between the granulated sugar and the honey, and it has the same kind of slightly yellowed tint that sugar syrup can sometimes have, and there’s a spoon in it, obviously for self-service.  So, it’s sugar syrup, right?

Remembering that last time I tried it, the few spoonfuls I put in my iced coffee didn’t seem to make much of a difference, I took the lid off my drink and poured in a good two or three tablespoons’ worth.  Then I walked back to the table, and then this happened:

P:   What did you just put in your drink?

Me:   Sugar syrup.

P:   I don’t think that’s sugar syrup.

Me:  Well, if it is, it’s not very well made because I poured a crapload in and I can barely taste it.  *sip sip sip*

P:  No, I mean, I think that’s just a little jar of water that you’re supposed to put your dirty spoons in.

Me:  Well … fuck.

Oh, sure, it’s funny now.  It was even mildly funny when P went to the cash and bought me a new, non-boogered drink.  But word to the wise — if you’re going to stop in at Cake Town Cafe, and there’s no reason you shouldn’t, it’s lovely — just know that the little jar of liquid is not sugar syrup.


  1. Terribly funny but oh how horrible! It should be clearly labeled. I think I would even call them and anonymously tell them so. Or you could just giggle when you see someone else make the same mistake.

    • I am thinking of making a wee label that I can stick on the jar next time I’m there. It will, of course, say: “This is not sugar syrup.”

  2. Oh you just made me Laugh! I am so sorry, but thank you for the giggle!!

  3. Did I ever tell you about the deodorizer wafer bitten into by me in a dark room, believing it was a cookie? Dad

    • Oh, we tell EVERYONE that story… I remember seeing the bite shape. If I wasn’t still at home that means Mom must have saved it to show me, ha ha!

  4. It should have been labeled. I once watched a friend pile whipped butter onto his fruit, thinking it was whipped cream. He was definitely surprised when he took a big mouthful.

  5. This made me literally laugh out loud. This is totally something I would do (gross). Thanks for the laugh….

    • As they say, you have to laugh, or you’d cry. Straight into your UNSWEETENED ICE COFFEE. (yes, I am still bitter)

  6. Oh, so sorry. Funny – am laughing, but so sorry.

  7. Ah, well … at least it happened when I was already in a bad mood. Heh.

  8. Oh yuck!!! At least it makes for a funny story, right?

  9. Thank you for making me LAUGH! That’s pretty much something I’d do.

  10. Oh my gosh! That’s terrific. So nice of your husband to get you a new drink. Thanks for the warning, should I ever be anywhere near that cafe.

  11. This made me laugh! I’m glad you got a new drink!

  12. Very funny. I’d probably do the same thing.

  13. The Emptying Nester says:

    That so sounds like the kind of thing I’d do!

  14. Great blog! Will be on the lookout for that.

  15. That’s hilarious… shame man!

  16. hahaha! it seems a bit lacking on empathy to be laughing, but the way you’ve written about it is too funny! :) i know of someone who drank a bowl of “soup” in a chinese restaurant which turned out to be warm water used for washing soiled fingers (and yes, quite a few soiled fingers had been washed in there prior to his drinking it). :D

    • Ah, if I wasn’t prepared to be laughed at, I wouldn’t put it out there. At least my “coffee” only had spoons in it!

  17. Riotous!

  18. LOL I am sorry my husband and I are laughing at your expense. That is too funny. I am sure you are not the only one who has made that mistake ;)


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If you think I’m talking about you here, yeah, you’re probably right.

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