The introspective horror that is Google Dashboard‘s Web History feature? Story for another day. Maybe for a day when I Google fewer than 47 separate things. If my recent search behaviour is any indication, I’ll be telling you that story while St. Peter is checking our I.D., because I looked up 71 things yesterday and 90 the day before that.
The reason I starting nosing around, trying to figure out what I’ve been searching on recently, is because I’m notoriously lazy about clearing my cache and that means that that little box of answerrific doubt-removal actually offers up a pretty neat summary of where my head is at at any given time.
Sometimes I like to imagine that I’ve gone on some kind of notoreity-seeking crime spree. I mostly like to imagine that so that I can mentally laugh at the poor detectives who get saddled with the exact task I just performed, namely, figuring out what I’ve been trying to figure out.
I picture a young guy — newly married and already bored — wondering what in God’s name an “agnetha faltskog” is: “Christ, Jack, it sounds like something you pick up at IKEA.” If only he knew how close he was! Of course he has to Google it. Circle of Life, my friends.
And with that, I present all things I’ve searched for recently. Or rather, 15 of all the things I’ve searched or that start with the letter A:
- Portuguese artist; needed the info for this post.
- Let’s see how many I have memorized: pop test! é … í … á … ¿ … and I’m out.
- For a friend’s kid. It was actually HFM.
are child swimming lessons eligible for tax credits
- Got my taxes did, unh-huh.
- Sainted Smilie, they are!
- Rudest song. Ever.
- Wanted to make sure my Mother’s Day flowchart wasn’t 100% derivative. 80% at best.
- Well, duh.
argument for omnibus bills
- Dunno. Some work thing, I guess.
- Healthy as a horse (having established that I am not, in fact, a horse). Research for a friend.
- Because I can never remember which one is Agnetha and which one is Anni-Frid.
all creatures of our god and king
- Just a generally excellent hymn. I was looking up lyrics.
- Oh gosh, I love Mama June.
- I invoke this quote regularly but have to look it up every time.
- This must have been for the inauguration. I like to remind Americans of the true origins of their national anthem (British drinking song!)
So … what you lookin’ at?
What sorcery is this? Francis Scott Key co-opted a drinking song that has come to represent Old Glory? The Puritans would be most put out. Which of course makes it even funnier to me. (Of course I had no idea of the origins of the song. But you probably knew that already.)
Two things: I can only look at my Google history sort of sideways; if I look straight on I think I may be struck dead by an overwhelming sense of WTFery. And: I need to go look up the lyrics to this Anacreontic Song so I can blow up some people’s heads on Facebook. Today was kind of meh but tomorrow is looking up! Thanks.
Twitter reveals all! Glad that you were able to find and post a video, because simply stating the fact barely registers with most folks; have them listen to the song and they join you — and once upon a time, me — in the Great Legions of You Weren’t Sh*tting Me.
….Willis.
I’m LOOKING at my HAND all UP in your FACE. (psiloveyou)