I don’t see ill-considered blog posts as often as I do head-scratching Facebook status updates and what-the-hell-were-they-thinking tweets. And I think there’s more to it than just brevity. Let’s say you’ve had a rough day at work. Here’s how that might play out:
Twitter: The only thing I enjoy more than having my intelligence, productivity & commitment questioned is having to pretend you’re not a waste of O2.
Facebook: You want to what I’m up to, Facebook? Well, it’s 6:40 p.m. and I’m still chained to my desk because my asshat of a boss thought it would be fun to redline my copy after he’d approved it AND sent it to production. But no, go ahead and expense your meal while I sit here and drink cold black coffee because you’re too cheap to keep the fridge stocked with milk.
And I have to tell you — that was actually hard for me type out. Partly because I’m on record as having pretty much the best boss ever, and also because my versions would look more like this:
Twitter: BREAKING: Sources confirm: It’s not me, it’s you.
Facebook: Trapped at desk. Please send pizza and non-homicidal thoughts.
Ah, isn’t it cute how I imagine myself as being 15% as wordy as I actually am.
No, the reason I would have scaled way back on the details is because I’m generally — and, I think, justifiably — paranoid about how much of myself I put “out there.” Less so on Facebook, which I have locked down fairly tightly, but certainly on Twitter and this blog, where my thoughts are open for consumption and misinterpretation.
Consequently, I have a series of mental filters that I pass all copy through:
- Will my mother see this?
The answer to that is always “yes.”
- Will the rest of my family — P, the kids — see this?
I assume that P will see whatever I write, which is why I’m pretty careful about quotes and attributions, and about asking his permission on photos in which he appears. As for the kids, as I say on my “About” page: “If they’re not able to find — and hack — this blog by the time they’re in grade school, I shall be gravely disappointed.”
- Is this in any way career-limiting?
This one flips back and forth between being legitimate and hysterical. Because I have a background in PR/communications and may end up back in that area some day, I am mindful of not trash-talking brands (with a few notable exceptions, eg: Why did the chicken hit “defriend?”). At the same time, I’m self-employed right now, so what am I gonna do, fire me?
Things I don’t really consider: is this funny, is this stupid, is anyone going to want to read this.
If I had to narrow it down to a single filter, though, a sort of WWJD of blogging, it would probably be: Is what I’ve written and shared defensible?
If it isn’t — if I’m flirting with posting something contentious, something I might have to recant if I can’t either admit my mistake or argue my way out of it — no posty.
What’s your bottom line?
The one fortunate thing about having 12 followers (other than the divinity which it implies) is that I am quite confident that my blogging will not get in the way of anything I need to do (which for me is unfortunate as the only thing I need to do right now is clean up the kitchen). But I agree with how you look at things–your position has to be defensible. And should my husband ever read any of my posts (not very likely) I will be fine. Should my mother-in-law do so (less likely) I will be in some hot water.
But your posts are awesome, so if my mother in law ever wants to read anything, I am just going to pretend I am you, if that is okay.
Well, now I can’t follow you, or you’ll NEVER get into Heaven. But if you want to do an identity switcheroo, that’s cool, too. I do love jam.
Deal. : ) (feel free to emoticon me back in april) –
Deal!
I agree with you-it is a fine line between putting enough of yourself out there to be engaging and putting so much out there that you make yourself vulnerable in your relationships (professional or personal). I worry that things I may find funny-could be accidentally hurtful to the others who are involved. But I also worry about everything.
My filter is: If I said this in front of all my relatives would they give me the look that makes me wilt.
^ that’s a smart measure!
That’s a good one! Like you, I worry about the humour, mostly. But if I wrote a blog without it, well that would be just as boring as my offline life, and even *I* wouldn’t want to read it.
Yep-Life can either bore you to tears or make you laugh…an often somehow those can be 2 views of the same event. I am a firm believer in laughter (mostly because I think life gives us plenty of opportunities to cry)
My line keeps moving. I write a lot of memoir, so it’s old, bygone times, and that helps me avoid clear and present dangers. There are some things I would LOVE to write about but can’t because I know that certain people would get upset. I just keep hoping potential employers will think my blog is quirky rather than a handicap.
It’s funny you should say that, because I’ve really been *wanting* to write more memoir, but worry about historical inaccuracies (not about keeping true to some kind of objective “record,” but to not getting basic facts wrong — like I said, my mom reads this and she won’t hesitate to set me straight!). FWIW, if I was in a position to hire you, I’d go with quirky.
My bottom line is: did I feel moved to write it and happy to share it. I do tone down any sexual aspect as hilarious as it sometimes is, I have an inner prude editing me.
My too. But I think the prudish words for sexual stuff tend to be way funnier, so it’s a bit of a win-win.
I think I am more open and honest in my blog than anywhere else. Sometimes it is pure fiction, others from the heart. I don’t tweet anymore and Facebook to me should be short, sweet and lighthearted at all times. I think I am more open with words on my blog because it isn’t something I share with many people who know me personally. The ones I have shared it with know that these are things I would openly talk about with them anyway. The Facebook users that turn me into a dribbling wreck are the prolific ‘Share this if you love you kids’ poster pushers and the ones who describe there entire day and moods in 40 separate status updates.
Facebook is rapidly degenerating into little more than photos of cute kids, years-old urban legends that could be debunked with 15 seconds of snopes-ing, poorly spelled e-cards, and requests to attend events I would avoid no matter what method was used to invite me. But I’m hooked on the cute kids, what can I say.
haha. I must say I like the kids and cats
I don’t think I could word my bottom line any better than you did — well said! ~ Kat
Thanks! I know we all some kind of inner standard-bearer — it’s interesting seeing how it plays out for different people, though.
My husband reads everything before I post it. He’s my filter and he catches things I miss. That said, you still can’t please everyone but if you can justify it and weren’t disrespectful, I think it’s OK to share. I’ve made my mom mad a time or two.
It’s fantastic that you can turn to him for advice and an honest review! And sorry about your mom …
Could not have said it better! I think my hubby reads my blog every now and then. He tells me. So does one sister-in-law. I only “like” on Facebook. I don’t tweet. I do have some opinionated opinions. But I have no political aspirations.
Oh, no political aspirations here. I could do it, and I think I’d be good at it, but it would destroy every relationship I hold dear, because my ability to contain and compartmentalize stress n’existe pas.
It’s a minefield and it turns you into a nervous wreck if you analyse it or worry about it – there’s always anonymity I guess
I wish I could say that overthinking was only an occupational hazard. Well, I guess it is, if you could occupying my own brain.
I think my bottom line is whether or not I am ready or willing to argue my point or accept any criticism, disagreement or discontent that comes with the post. If the answer is yes – post goes up. If the answer is no – post is never seen!
Yep, I agree. It has to be defensible from the git-go — last thing I want/need/have time for is to craft some kind of post-hoc explanation for some goofball opinion I should have just kept to myself.
Exactly! Or in my case, a post that will ensure a message from Shys absent father in a rage because he feels he has been painted in a bad light LOL just can’t be bothered!
Big fan of dramavoidance, here!
One of my mother’s favourite sayings (she has many!) is never put down on paper anything you don’t want people to read. I think the same goes for blogging, facebook and other social media.
That’s very astute, and more meaningful (to me) than “something on the internet lives forever,” which sounds more like a threat than a warning.
agree with eternal traveller — words are powerful and not forgotten