This is just today’s edition. Tomorrow’s will be ever-so-slightly different. Not different enough to be awesome, just different enough to fool me into thinking it’s a brand new day.
1. I won’t let her eat a dishwasher tab.
2. I won’t let her chug the white vinegar she found under the kitchen sink.
3. I took away the dry erase marker she was using to redecorate our duvet:
4. Her hair is in her face.
5. I put in a barrette to try to keep the hair off her face.
6. She pulled out the barrette and now it’s clipped to her shirt sleeve.
7. I won’t turn on the shouting bilingual cash register toy: “GLISSEZ LE FROMAGE JAUNE PAR MON LECTEUR!”
8. I keep correcting her when she calls footprints “mittens.”
9. There’s no apple juice.
10. The only knife she’s allowed to play with is plastic.
11. I keep suggesting “sleep” as a solution to “tiredness.”
12. Spinning makes her dizzy.
13. The flashlight is off. On. Off. On.
14. She’s expected to eat yogurt with a spoon.
15. I won’t read Bear Takes A Trip for the ninth time today (oh yes, I keep count).
This is SO true….
And this is just 15. Just today. Lord a’mighty.
Every day is a new discovery. Or something like that.
Since I posted this, she discovered that she could tip over a small bookcase and empty the potty on the floor. Good times.
May the force be with you!
Hahaha! I love this post! I thought I was stressed because I had to pick up my 12 year old from school for a headache… You made me feel much better.
Happy to help. If only someone would pick ME up … I sense a serious headache on the horizon.
Oh the wonderful life of kids
Glad mine are teenagers .. no wait … that’s wrong LOL
Ah, see, a cup of pee on the floor is nothing when you compare it to a teen’s broken heart or wounded ego. I don’t appreciate the smalls spills now, but I’m sure I will someday, and sooner than I can imagine!
Yes, make the most of them now. They will put you through hell later LOL, But it’s worth it. I’m glad my ex didn’t fight me for custody when we split. I don’t think I could live without seeing my kids every day – even though I want to through them off the balcony
Here are Clara’s:
1. I won’t let her climb up on the table.
2. I won’t let her eat the food that’s dried under her chair.
3. She wants her shoes on.
4. She wants her shoes off.
5. Her brother is bugging her.
6. Her brother won’t play with her.
7. She wants in the fridge, and I’m getting her out.
8. She wants different clothes.
9. She wants her diaper off.
10. She wants a bath… now.
I hear you, especially on #7. Daily struggle here, I just didn’t know how to phrase it!
I’m torn between trying to find encouraging words and smiling. This is Juno – love her or leave her (I’m guessing today you’ll take option #2) she is her own little person….and I love her oodles for it. (I can say this as I don’t spend most of my waking hours with her. Trade you a slightly used dog for a slightly used kid?)
I figure it’s about 10% kid and 90% age/stage, so I’ll keep her. Plus I’ll only have to deal with her poop for another year or so. A HA HA HA.
Reminds me of a bored dog I have here. Lots to do – but wants company doing it. Loved those days with the toddlers too. Stock up on the Advil – and don’t be afraid to use it! – Suzan -
I’ll get a couple of hours sans kids tonight — that’s getting me through today.
She is very bright, footprints ARE just like mittens! haha. Great read. Thank you.
It’s actually the logo for Barefoot Books — two tiny little footprints, so cute. And she’s pretty clever to make that association but MAN does she get mad when I point to them and say “footprints.” She doesn’t actually add “… DUH.” to the end of her “MITTENS!” but I can tell she wants to.
Oh, I do remember those years!!! I was just thinking the other day…wondering if I have the energy it will take to be a Grandmother of a toddler, or two?!? Well, I’ll face that when the time comes…help me, Jesus! Amen!
All the fun with a fraction of the responsibility … what’s not to love.
Hey, you’re right…I can do it!!!
You are such a refreshing change from parents fawning over everything their kids poop out. LOL! I wish I could sit her down and explain to her just how much she should listen to you about the sleep, because that is one thing she will miss when she’s a nerdy grad student 20 years later.
Well clearly you’ve missed all my toilet training-related posts. There has been literal fawning over everything my kids poop out! But yes … a child’s insistence on fighting sleep is absolutely baffling. I would kill for a nap most days!
1) My hair’s in my face.
2) I want to eat. Now.
3) I’m tired, but not really.
4) It’s too cold. It’s too hot.
4) The program I want to watch isn’t on.
I think I must be a toddler, too….
Well, damned if this isn’t pretty much the best comment I’ve ever seen.
Visualize emoticon winking (you gave them up right?).
I did. IS IT EASTER YET?!
AW! I can identify with so many things on that list… yesterday I had to explain many times that a leather sofa will not stand up to being scratched with a hair slide, piece of lego, toenails or pencils.
A few years ago, my aunt and uncle got rid of a leather sofa that still had the teething marks from their sons, who are now nearing 40. Durable, but not indestructible!
Loving this post so much because it made me smile and want to cry at the same time! My daughter has definitely felt these “frustrations” before.
Yep, parenting toddlers is definitely a polarizing experience — so much fun and so much frustration all coming from the same small human!
Hang in there, my dear. It will all pay off one day.
Sorry, one of my fingers became trigge-happy and clicked on the “post comment” button while my mind was still speaking….
I find your list so heartwarming. I remember those days. Sigh! Seems like yesterday, like the cliche goes. But now she’s 23, mine is. And it’s all worth the exasperation!
Boy do I remember those days! My babies are now teens but each day, they each have their list of annoyances.
I’m 40 and I do, too. Mine are mostly about unfiled taxes and annoyed toddlers, though.