People take a break from blogging for all kinds of reasons.
Honest to God, I thought I’d eventually quit because I got bored with it.
Not because I got told to shut up — or else.
“Are you aware that our son is suing us for copyright infringement?”
“Uh … what?”
“Okay, he’s not suing us. It’s a cease-and-desist letter, sent to me, naming Seve as a client.”
“Our three-year-old has a lawyer? Are you feeling okay?”
“For his drawings that I posted on my blog.“
“Do you need me to come home? I think I’m going to come home.”
“His lawyer’s name is Rebekah Lefebvre.”
The conversation I’d had with my son’s lawyer {Jaimie: WTF?} three minutes earlier did little to clear things up {Meg: Do you need Uncle Henry’s #?}.
“Rebekah speaking.”
“I just got a letter sent on your letterhead, apparently from my son. A cease-and-desist notice.”
“Your name?”
“Jeni Armstrong. I’m sorry to speak so bluntly, but what the hell is going on? My son is three years old.”
“Mrs. Armstrong …”
“Ms. Fuck! That’s not the point. Are you aware that you are representing a three-year-old child?”
“Our law firm does not discriminate on the basis of a client’s age, alleged or actual.”
And it went on like that for God knows how long {Jaimie: Did you record it? That’s insane.} and the upshot of it, as I understood it, was that I was being told that I could no longer post any of my kid’s artwork to Facebook or Twitter or {Meg: Was it because of your blog?} my blog, or any other form of media, online, offline, social or otherwise, without his express written consent.
Which he cannot provide, as he still grips a marker with his whole fist and doesn’t yet know how to write his own name.
And which is how I ended up on snopes.com {Jaimie: OMG, Armstrong! You’ve been SNOPED!} — after a seeming lifetime of policing my own Facebook friends feed for stories that stretched the bounds of credulity.
I used to think this blog would serve as a repository of funny stories, happy memories, honest moments.
Joke’s on me.
If you need to find me, sniff around in the usual places. Special thanks to my friend Jaimie and my sister Megan, whose texts have kept me sane and (mostly) sober these last few days.
Hmmmm…. uhhhhhh… wow! You just can’t make this stuff up! That’s insane! :-/
Ah, but I did! The last link is the giveaway. I shared this on Facebook and eventually got busted by a friend of mine (a real lawyer, natch!).
Ah, I’m gullible…
Trusting. And I’m a jerk. Dangerous combination! Don’t leave me!
omg!
TFDH! (total fabrication, don’t hate!)
You know how gullible bears are. And I have only two brain cells, both drunk.
Gold star comment, LSB.
Gold.
Star.
Give him time
I’m starting to understand why my parents always had a “No allowance; you are expected to contribute to household tasks. If you need money for something, ask and we’ll consider it,” policy.
Did they
I like kids to have a handle on money though.
Good point. They also pushed early employment, because they wanted us to experience the sense of contribution/frustration that comes with taxation, I guess?
learning the value of an hourly rate and what it takes to be employed is invaluable, your parents sound very sensible.
Brilliant.
Only because it’s fiction.
Isn’t this when they start demanding an allowance too? Bloody kids these days.
You know what’s funny … I posted this on Facebook and to a person, everyone assumed it was a self-interested lawyer that had somehow glommed onto my child, rather than Seve hiring someone, which while slightly less plausible, is what I was actually thinking when I wrote this. So, yes. He’s cut off.
Ha!
Don’t you have studying to do? Or my laundry? Or something?
Thanks for mentioning me….but that was the give-away for me — my memory is bad but I don’t remember having this conversation with you!! Too funny.
That’s because it was sent in texts (or, more precisely, iMessage). You really should talk to your neuro about the memory sitch …
oh meanie!!! (:) ) I also got taken in!
What an awesome response to the Challenge!! Can’t wait to read the rest of your blog.
Waiting to see how long it takes for this to go viral and finally end up in place of honour on Snopes.com. LMAO! You had me going ’til the end.
This would have been more credible if your scene was somewhere in California.
Very true — Canadian tort law doesn’t have quite the same fakability.
Nor the litigious society!
Brilliant.
Thanks! I thought so, but my impartiality is suspect.
Then you can rest assured that in this case your opinion is objective.
You are a clever clever girl….true genius and what fun!!!
Lisa
Too kind! It was a lot of fun to write this one up …
A great read and very amusing! Ha ha. Well done, my friend. xoJulia
Thanks! Like I could ever leave.